a Kodak moment

Lost in the aftermath of change.
Change I did not ask for or need.
You are part of the change now.
I have pictures of us on the walls.
Held in with colored thumbtacks.
We  were drinking flutes of champagne.
at a café by the Seine in Paris.
They are all pictures taken with Kodak film
from a lost time but I kept them.
Even after you left me,I kept them.
Sometimes I pull out an old Vynal album?
Sinatra sings the summer wind
I dance as though you are in my arms.
Yes I am drinking again why the hell not.
One morning I was lay 
at the bottom of the stairs.
A bottle of scotch spilled all around me.
Our friends found me and tore down
All my old pictures and ripped them into pieces.
I had been told you were remarried
to someone other than me.
I threw the torn pictures into my fireplace.
And lit them using my whisky as an accelerant.
It should have taught me a life lesson.
That holding onto the past is unhealthy.
But I burnt my hands putting the fire out.
I was not ready to let them burn
Not quite now.
Not just yet.