Life With Pain

I don't want to go out, 
I don't want to see
I'm done pretending you mean anything to me.
I sleep, I eat I cry alone
Living in misery has become my home. 
I'm stuck I'm hurt I can't explain, 
But a life with you means a life with pain.
But how, but why is all I ask.
Why can't I quit living in the past. 
A past of hurt a life in pain, how can I get my heart to ever feel the same?
I try, I think I wonder some how 
Maybe one day I'll live life with a smile 
*Kayla Janes