Life's Monster.

I was five smarter than the average bear
not under the best of care
left alone with a monster scary and mean
done things that most have never seen
He told me things to do and I done them without disobeying
I grew older now understanding with demons to be slaying
devil taunting me for being touched in the wrong places
I was just one in a million of cases
not all understand what I've been through 
for only few know what happened as I ranted out the blue
my mother is unaware of what has happened to me
I'm 16 and it's still a secret ya see
who would have the balls to tell there mother her daughters been touched in places
after 11 years of the secret kept from her even when I'm just one out of millions of cases
I have dreams that still haunt me of my past
waking up crying how much will this memory last
maybe this is why I'm afraid of people to be near 
even if they are there for me and can shed a tear
I don't want the pity
I'm 16 clearly off my mother's titty
sulking for a cure of memory loss
like risking life with a game of ring toss
I will keep my emotions bottles up 
give me meds fill my cup
I often get down and hate on life
I once at 12-14 turned towards the knife
Im 16 now and God's baby child
Life's Life and is scary and wild