A Long Walk to the Mountains

On this particular afternoon I woke 
with my body curled on a pebble beach. 
Trying to shelter myself from the winds 
as I was curled so tight 
I would surely have held anything in my sight. 
But as it would be,
She lay far out of my reach, 
and for the first time I was glad 
we had as much distance between us 
as we had.

I lay curled, still tense, 
the wind pressing against my back,
And I hoped I was a windbreak for her,
if nothing else. 
She was still asleep, I think, 
her back to me, curled as was I, 
trying to bite back against the chill,
and the constant moving of the sky.

Beyond her, the mountains were rugged,
cascading snow laced their sides 
fallen from their peaks 
and their slopes rolled gently
into the ocean below.
She looked peaceful 
but I knew in my heart,
that peace for her was much too far.

Suddenly, the magnitude of the nature around us 
felt so immense 
that everything I had ever known 
became so very small, 
and in that moment 
all I understood 
was that I knew nothing at all
of what we had done to one another 
or what we would become. 

As she turned, the sound of the pebbles 
crunched and cracked beneath her. 
And I winced at the harshness of the noise,
and the dreading of whether  
i would see the disappointment in her eyes 
when they opened upon me as she woke.

There was a time I used to believe 
If you put two people together, 
at any odds, 
in such a beautiful place, 
that nothing else would matter.
And that if they remembered
their most wonderful parts,
the beauty surrounding them
would re-entangle their hearts.

I didn't think she would stay lying there 
for as long as she did after she woke,
The side of her face resting along 
the slender back of her hand, 
her hair falling along the pebbles
And weaving amongst the sand, 
She looked calmly at me
As if the cool air had softened her. 

I wanted to tell her that 
I had never seen mountains 
fall so quaintly toward the sea, 
nor seen an ocean so proud of its colour. 
And yet I had never seen two people 
so utterly hopeless, 
left without a word to say to one another.

She had her back to the mountains 
Snd her feet to the sea, 
She couldn't see aything,
Nothing but me. 
She glanced upward at the jetty path 
that ran behind me
along the length of the beach, 
and still calm, she told me that
it was a long walk to the mountains
and even if we were to reach,
She doubted if either of us 
would have the desire 
to climb to the peak.