Longing Freedom

There was an immortal second that took me a moment to grasp
My alarm jolted me back from where we go when we fall fast asleep
Life presented me with a gift perfectly laid out on the surface of my silk sheets
I was astounded to find me laying in the body of my old mind while my ever-evolving and becoming self was secretly concealed underneath.
Feeling ever so present in the limbo of undefined parameters between the waking from the submergence in subconsciousness and the descent into the depths of the unexplored dimension
My attention was wrapped in awe.
 
I explored each crevice with the allotted time that I was given
Revisiting the prison that I was once confined to.
I saw my excuses tattooed to the four walls of my closed view
but there were only few spots that remained vacant.
Where I could see glimpses of gratitude were caught becoming nascent
Oh, the disgust that surged within me
From the multitude of ways that I had wasted days in a cell
That was constructed, molded and controlled from a hell where I made my bed and would peacefully sleep in.
As the heat of the overwhelming moment deepened, I abruptly wanted to be free.
 
Free from previous cycles of programming and attention seeking stress
Proving only to be momentarily worthwhile after many unsuccessful tests
Free from the chains that hold me tied to the baseboard of the walls of poverty that run miles high
Petrified of the fall beneath that would greet me if my motivation were ever to run dry.
I want to free from me, the inner enemy that won’t let me climb
I want to unsubscribe from the red horn’s mailing list
that encourages me to turn myself in, to the dirt from where I was once derived.
These voices of the opposition that I truly despise distort my heavenly intuition
which holds the tools required for me to become a master of peace  
How can I be the destined hero with God given powers that glisten?
When I cower and listen to the unconquered villain inside that holds the power to save me from myself and my precious pride
I blame me, I want to be free.
 
It's my ego that has been holding me hostage
It's always triggered, firing out shots that I easily get lost in
It's my ego that won’t let me bleed
It's him that disconnects you from me
Being unaware that we are all damaged in similar ways underneath
I blame me, so I can be free from an overprotective ego that holds no concept of reality.
This sobering revelation brought me back to where I started
In pure reverence of the journey that I had once charted  
As I lay in my bed thinking “what the hell just happened?!”
I was grateful for the escape from a life I was once trapped in.