Lost Identity

I hear laughter 
I see smiles
I want to walk toward them
But I’m pulled toward ambiguity

Lately it’s getting quieter.
The drive to be with friends,
A drive to have fun.
A smile is getting harder
My laugh,
in danger

This isn’t who I am.
Not who I want to be.
But it calls me for me,
And I come freely

I feel lost.
Not certain of who I am,
Who I was, 
Nor who I will be

People worry,
People scurry.
They want to help.
But how to help,
What even I can’t comprehend.

I feel useless.
A burden to others.
Inside I know I’m not
But I can’t help but feel sorry

Sorry to those who worry
Sorry to those who need me
Sorry for people fed up with this
Thinking I want charity