I'm not gone. I'm just lost in the translation of words.
We started out so much in love, dying to catch a glimpse of the other when we walked through the busy streets; smiling, smiling so much that we were often called insane.
Yes we were insane. We were insanely perfect for one another, we thought the same, we sang the same, we even completed each other's songs; walking hand in hand, wanting to wipe the smile off of our faces but in vain.
We whiled away hours thinking about things we could talk about, but the moment we saw each other, the mere feeling of the contours of your face touching my eyes evaporated everything I'd prepared to talk to you about for days.
Yes we waited days to talk and to meet up, oh the sweet pain of waiting to see each other, ye when we met, we just sat there; smiling, looking into each other's eyes, soaking in enough of one another to help us survive after we, for the time being, parted our ways.
Yes we parted out ways but whenever we met, it was love at first sight all over again. We shared books, we shared poems, we shared music that helped us cope and smile when we were not together, holding hands; smiling, thinking about the times we will spend together forever, never to let go, never to miss a chance.
Yes we never wanted to miss a chance, life was too short. We felt, we expressed, we fought and we loved, we lived life to the fullest. No regrets, no inhibitions stayed there as we kissed, smiling, reminiscing all the good times and the bad ones too, looking forward to sharing a dance.
But it was all a dream, an illusion. We had regrets clawing us from within. Yes we shared life and music but shared not what we used to feel. The suppressed emotions killed us from within, we had kept up the pretense for too long; smiling, consoling ourselves that we were perfect when we were far from being one.
Yes we were far from being perfect. We felt, we expressed but we never conveyed. We said that we loved but we never trusted. We showed that we were secure about "us" but the insecurities had finally come crawling out; smiling, hollowing "us" from within, all our efforts being undone.
We tried. No we did not. I tried and you tried too but we did not try. We spent our days trying to rejuvenate something which was already long gone. It had become a lost cause even before we could realise. I gave up, so did you; smiling, that at least we had made memories for a lifetime, though we hadn't yet played all our cards.
Yes we hadn't played all our cards, yet the love which once made us smile all day long now leaves us teary-eyed. We used to wait for days to meet but we were left only with sleepless, teary nights. We did not try to save us, we tried to save you and I, love succumbed to mortal peril. Our love which was once transcendent has gone completely downhill. We still remember us, diving into each other's eyes; smiling, holding hands, minds chirping like birds.
I had found solace in you, maybe you in me. We had danced through the night and yet it did not occur to us. We were drifting apart, seemingly so close, yet the earth and the sky were afar. We were losing ourselves, earlier in each other's eyes and now each other's calls; smiling, we called out to one another but the sound apparently died out, the distance between our hearts too great and the sound, too transient and small.
Yes our hearts had travelled too far, the light we were shared was fading out. Yes the sun the was shining bright but its rays couldn't make us warm and whole. We bickered a lot and then none at all. We loved a lot and all of a sudden it was gone. No it wasn't all of a sudden, we had felt it waning, we thought we could make it stay alive but guess what, we were wrong. Our love was withering though we never wanted it to, we were still smiling; smiling at the way it had gone, disappeared, like leaves in fall.
I still introspect. I still think of what in reality went wrong. How we went from so much in love to not even sharing a song. I want to know everything, I want to wrong all rights. I want to win you over again, but I guess I have given up on the fight.
What do you feel went wrong? What did you want more? I'm still in deep thought, trapped in my mind like we cage all the birds. No, I'm not gone. I'm just lost, lost in the translation of words.