Love In My Words.

 I love you.... three words taken for granted.. used to much... taken to lightly.. I've used those three words before.. I was in love. I used to be in love... I used those words as a reminder to the person I loved. Things come and go in life. People come and go in life. When you least expect it. People come in to your life and you said I love you instead of I care about you. Those two phrases mean different things. You can care about someone and not love them. Love is a complex thing. It can lift you up and tear you down.. when you leave someone you loved or you are left by someone you love it tears you down. Breaks you. Sometimes even ruins you. Maybe it doesn't ruin you on the outside... but it mentally ruins you. You realize life isn't like it used to be. You used to wake up to the same face every morning. Eat with the same person. You get used to them around you every single day. Worst of all, you used to say those three words to them. Every chance you got. And in the blink of an eye it's all gone. You wake up alone. You wake up to your thoughts and the thoughts of the one you used to love. You eat by yourself. And the only people you say those three words to are your family. Some days are perfectly fine. Some days you don't want to get out of bed. Some days you can eat a full meal. Others you can't even hold down a simple bite. Some days your eyes are filled with tears from laughing so hard... but other days they are filled with tears of sadness, anger, hurt. Some days you feel like you will find someone else, others you feel like no one will ever fill the hole in your heart. All because of those three fucking words... that fucking feeling... that fucking person...
I love you....turns into I hate you... and I hate you turns into I'm sorry... and then that turns into fuck you.... one day it will all be better.. you will find someone that you will say those three words to. And you will be able to say those three words every day for the rest of your life...until then everyone expects you to be okay... but what if you're not?? What if you're so broken inside that you're crying at 3:48am on a Sunday morning? But it will be okay.. the sun comes up in the morning...