Masked depression

Today my mom asked me how I was and I told her I was doing great. I was making straight A's in all of my classes, making new friends, and learning how to gain my confidence back. She smiled at me and said.. "that's great, I'm proud of you." As that last word slipped her mouth she turned her back and went back to looking over her papers. I wanted to scream so loud and just break down right at that moment....she couldn't realize the lie that had just slipped from my lips. Why? Why could she not see the pain that was hiding behind a false profile. Mom please turn around and talk to me! My thoughts were loud but she couldn't hear me. I'm not fine mom! The reason I'm making straight A's is because I take other kid's work and I copy it because I don't do it for the simple reason being that I can't concentrate! I'm making friends with new blades that I steal from your desk. And mom I'm trying to be confident, I'm trying so hard but the demons inside my head take over and tell me i am a nobody and I will never be. The blackness in my heart is now spreading through my body and I'm turning into an empty shell....mom can you hear me?! I'm so depressed I paint on my smiles for you just so I won't hurt you and make you feel like you did something wrong. I'm a constant nightmare to myself and my anxiety has taken away every last breath I have tried to take. My mom doesn't hear me behind the silent pauses and the fake situations I have created and she may never ever hear them because I keep on my mask and I pretend...