Masks On

Closed book but I read aloud,
Every time I speak there’s a crowd.
Thrills down my spine,
Every time I read this story of mine.
It’s imprisoning me,
Don’t know who to be.
I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.
Being dragged underneath.
I can’t breathe.

At the bottom of the universe, I’m feeling all the weight.
Mental breakdown, can’t handle anything in this state.
I can’t deal with this.
I’m not built for this,
100% sure that I’ll fail at this.
this sadness started out softly,
Now I can’t shake it off me.
I hide my emotions,
Where inside me there’s an explosion.
It’s cause and effect,
I try to be perfect I’ll never be perfect
I’m not important, I’m not worth it.

My thoughts alone are this poison.
So loud sometimes I feel like they’re voices.
Ganging up on my anxiety,
Don’t look at me society.
I’m stuck in this mental detention
Due to my quick apprehension.
My alone time is for your own protection.
Don’t look at that as a deception.
Let there be no misconception.

Something different about me you say?
Everything changed in a matter of days.
From benevolence to aggression,
Happiness, to depression.
Cause you don’t see the scene behind the screen.
I give you what you want to see.
Seats in front of me.
Seats that have once been sat in are empty.
Echoes of the sound of roaring applause,
Memories of what once was.

Who am I and when?
Who am I and when,
Out of everyone I’ve been,
Who’s the real me,
Who was I made to be?
Positive, peaceful, talkative,
The exact opposite?
When I was born,
Was it to mourn, or be torn?
Who am I and when,
When do I start and the facade end?
Have I always had to pretend?

I’m sick of these games,
You judge me, and I change.
Programmed to be damned.
ever wonder about the times I’ve lied?
ever thought maybe I was broken inside,
who gave me a reason to hide…
I’m sorry that I’ve let you down.
Then again you let me drown.
Now I don’t see you apologizing,
Nah, I’m the one downsizing.