Metamorphosis

I love you , I do

More than I can show you

More than I tell you

Or try to just , to plead With you ,

silently , every time I ask you a question

Im really just hoping you’ll mention

How much you need me too.

Its different you see for me,

My breathe no longer comes easy

Life cannot move forward

Because where this is your only

I have too many

And the torment of choices

I can feel is slowly killing me.

Because your decision is final ,

Whereas mine is eternal

No rest for the heart

When the mind is in turmoil

And for you I would settle

But I’m scared you’d recoil

From the parts of me hidden

Under the soil

Dirty and barren

Nothing pure to grow there

Feeding on your nourishments

Giving nothing in return

But I love you I do,

And I don’t know whats true

My love or the fool

That thinks its enough

And im not being cruel

When I know im just selfish

And reaching for the feeling

Of your touch feeding

and my soul existing

in you.

See the man im with now

I can love him aswell,

But its because hes already broken

And already a shell,

So theres no pain there when I take

The living corpse which I make

Doesn’t feel the decay

like you would everyday.

Because I don’t know how to be still

And my demons don’t quieten down

And the pieces you’ve seen

Are normally drowned

And pushed to the bottom underneath my debris

That forces me to love what will only hurt me

Because Im too scared to swim

My lungs fill and its peaceful

I don’t have to think and I don’t have to struggle

Im heavy and empty and the pain is comforting

As a penance for the evil I can feel is rotting

Away all the goodness that remains at my core

Loving you and saving you from the snake and the whore.

The venom and vampire , the liar and cheat,

The fucking clever bitch who always sows her seeds

And reaps all she grows from others fields

And sells all their goods for way too cheap

So she can live rich and feast on her greed

Her darkness and putrid vile calculated wants

That rip at the hearts of those she loves most

Knowing before the damage of the fall

But still jumping quickly and risking it all

But not her own life, only the ones she calls

To love her and give up , everything and more