mirror of hate

As I look in the wall 
I cant help but to look 
At this one mirror of pure Gold
But as my eyes lay my eyes
On it and I see myself 
I see this monster within
I see his ugly head full of hate
Full of pain

But in the background 
I see this little child crying 
Crying for his mom 
And I reach out to help him
My hand hits glass and I cry  too
I know that child needed me 
And I failed him

As I cry my last tear I bundle up my fist and smash the mirror 
I feel the pain and I know the pain is real 
I cant but to whisper
I fail yet again 
Why can I do anything right
I look though my blured vision 
To see an angel 
 I asked her
Am I always going to fail 

She relpyed 
My child you feel 
All this pain
For you push others pain 
Onto yourself 
You need to let go 
For in the end this pain  
It will kill you 

I say
I must keep 
Doing it im a soldier 
Im should be the last one
Standing in a fight 
I must help others even 
If it means destroying my very bein