More Like An Island Than A Rock

She is broken.

She is trying to find all the pieces.

But something evades her.

What is it?

Or, rather, who is it?

Who is it that causes her to be an insomniac?

Who is it that causes her to have tear stained pillows?

Who is it that makes her to question her heart and mind?

Who is it that makes her insane, jealous, happy, depressed, and angry all the same time?

Who is it that she would do anything to see a smile on his face?

Who is it that she cannot live without?

Who is it that she would give her life for?

One name only comes to mind.

The one name that has been her plague and her salvation this entire time.

However, there are more parts to this never ending saga.

He hates when she tells her friends about her encounters with him.

The sexual ones, of course, because if he doesn't say anything to his friends, she shouldn't either.

She is trapped.

Between love and maintaining her sanity.

She doesn't know what to do.

Should she wait for him?

She knows waiting for him is like waiting for rain in a drought.

Useless and disappointing.

It makes her sad. Suicidal, even.

But she has to be strong.

For her parents.

For her own self.

For her dreams.

Because she can't let a guy break her.

She has goals.

Dreams.

Aspirations.

She wants to fight for her country.

But how can she fight for something bigger than her, when she can't even compose herself in public?

Maybe she needs a break.

From this struggle.

From this life.

But she is being warned.

Once you take the break, you can't go back.

Because when the break is physical and emotional, it can't be sealed.

It will remain to be a deep gash on her soul.

Irreparable and metastasizing.