Mother

For reasons unknown, I came home
and you were gone,
A mother bird without her child.
I saw your name on the telephone and asked myself
""How can a boy near fully grown still hesitate?"
For reasons unknown, I let you speak,
Reminded of pain eating me away, to the point of being insane,
Of being left in the rain on a cold day, craving love, sowing hate,
wondering if sorry came a little too late;
Hell, I'd been around the world, almost had me a boy,
(would you prefer a girl?)
Your little man graduated
Although I felt a little less than educated save the fact
I could write when my mind was faded
Seeing how many words I could fit on the pages
Before I stopped feeling complicated,
alone, out of my zone, watching the phone,
Hating it when you'd ring and hearing your voice on the phone.
Shit, I'd still answer 'cause mama is mama,
And by that time Papa was gone.
I came home and you weren't ready
And I prayed and prayed, up all night,
Asking God to let me make things right
While you gave up the fight.
So I sat, waiting and weeping
Blazed, a little bit dazed and still not the least bit fazed
'Til I was pushed out the nest "for my best"
Yet having no place to give me rest; My friends saw me hard pressed
In the dead of winter; People were telling me I'd won,
But I'm not much of a winner;
I'm still a sinner feeling thinner.
Allow me to reiterate the fact that you spoke with hate
Leaving me in a quiet hospital  room on my birthday.
I knew it was over and the tears still came;

For reasons unknown my story is gone,
A Kodak faded, like granny's backyard,
always shaded.
My story is gone yet it's still being written,
So  I continue to write it lest I forget it, And I love it;
For reasons well known I won't be coming home;
My blessing are too great. I'm not the smartest and I'm not the greatest,
I may be a bit shady;
Maybe it's fate.
Sorry came a little too late so I'll forgive you.
In that way, I know my heart is true.