My Apology

I’m at my happiest when, 
You’re dancing through my mind. 
Then sadness poisons my brain, 
Leaving my whole body in pain. 
A year goes by, 
Followed by another. 
It gets even harder for me to bare, 
With every passing of another southern summer. 
Sometimes I swear, 
That your scent still lingers. 
Or even that late at night I can hear your laughter, 
Howling down the hall from the kitchen. 
I have never forgiven myself for being so blind, 
How could I not see your soul through your eyes? 
I was supposed to be the one who knew you the best, 
Only to have to put your young soul to rest. 
Please forgive me my love, 
For I have not forgiven myself. 
As I write this, 
I’m bleeding out my regrets. 
So I can apologize to you face to face, 
I hear heaven is a pretty nice place. 
I will not blame you, 
If forgiveness is something you can’t find. 
But my anxieties are starting to rage, 
As my time here is beginning to fade. 
I get to look into your eyes, 
And maybe even see your smile. 
My darling I can see the great light, 
I will finally be 
with 

you 
to 
n 
ight…