My Broken Forevers

When I was just a little girl
The life lessons started early.
I was fearless cuts and bruises
We’re my trophies of war.
Earned and displayed with pride.

My father had rasperberry vines.
And beautiful rose gardens.
I learned that all things 
Sweet and lovely have thorns.

When I was thirteen
I got the power.
I learned my body
could get me all I wanted.
So I wore thick mascara 
And dark red lipstick.
Math was useless
Except for counting calories.
I learned popularity and beauty
Live in a dark place called hunger.

At fourteen I learned way
too much too early.
That all boys
were like the twelve apostles.
The same but all different.
I found the apostles
that wanted me were
like Judas
their words drenched In betrayal 
and their kisses in deceit.

I know they could read my fears
The ones that really hurt.
The ones that leave scar tissue
around the heart
that last for a lifetime.
The kind of pain 
that changes you.