My Conspiracy Theory

I know Bush toppled the twin towers
I know Diana was killed by MI6
JFK by the FBI
But I know of a conspiracy greater
Than all those
It involves you
And a theory that is all in my head
My conspiracy theory
My love more than my life.
Your love more than your life
I live for what I love, who you love
But oh, how Queen rings true
“I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me”
I’m just thinking, dying of
My conspiracy theory.
 
You are all out to get me.
You don't care
My insecurities are on display for you
Laughed at in empty galleries.
You never showed up for opening night
So I shut down closed, up
Questioning my worth
The worth of my life, my love
To you in this room
Desperately searching for the highest bidder.
Hoping, praying you'll buy my conspiracy
 
When you see me
It is my theory that it is my theory you see.
I am living in this literal figurative reality
With you who act as if my “what’s ups?” and “How are yous”
Amount to nothing, mean nothing,
When you mean everything to me.
I need to care, I’m dying to care
But you keep turning me off,
The same way you never do with your iPhone.
Are you blind or deaf?
Can't you see I'm saying something?
All of you walk by as though my mind
Is whispering from one ear to the other
As though it is barely audible as it shouts
As if your telepathic powers have shut down
Only to let me down
 
My conspiracy theory;
You are subject
To my scrutiny, testing, judging.
Guilty before innocent
Sentenced to death
No trial jury lawyer laws
Selective to all that is candid.
 
My conspiracy theory
Is my corpse lying on the cold hard pavement,
Unidentified, another John Doe.
No explanation for what I'm explaining
It is my heart, brain and soul;
A parasite,
Sucking the sense out of my brain,
Pulling my heart strings in every direction except north.
Shredding my body apart;
An undead creature out of control.
My conspiracy theory,
Why does it conspire against me?