My Darling Boys

My Darling Boys

Every night when I close my eyes,
You are always what I see
I hit my knees pray and beg him
“Oh God why me?”

You gave me these 2 beautiful boys 
To fill my heart with love
And then you sent your angels down so quickly
To take them to heaven above

God please help me get through this 
I feel so very weak
To see my baby boys again
Is the treasure I truly seek

I never got the chance 
To watch them love and laugh and grow
I guess I will never understand
What it is you know

You know why this happened 
You have know it from the start
Please got help me now 
And heal my broken heart

I shouldn't have to go through this 
This painful terrible road
When you took my babies home to heaven
It was quite a heavy load

I guess I should hold my head high 
And tell them how I feel
They already know
The pain is quite real

My boys I miss you so very much
It really isn't fair 
That he gave me your little lives
Then all of a sudden you weren't there

I wish I could be with you
I wish for it every day
I love you both with all my heart
I wish you could have stayed

If God came down and asked me
If  right now I will take your place
I would do it in a heartbeat
So you could feel life’s grace

Sometimes I blame myself
Telling me that it is truly all my fault
When I start to think like that 
My world comes to a halt

 I think about how it should have been
And how your lives shortly turned out
I sit there thinking by myself
Without a shadow of a doubt

I hate myself for failing you
And what makes me feel the worst 
Is that I am your mommy
I should have gone first

But I also think about the fact 
That I am still blessed with your older sis
I have to be strong for her
And help fill her life with bliss

I have to continue on 
With my life when you look down
When you see me standing here
I want to make you proud

Yes me and daddy will have more children
And they will again fill my heart with grace
But I promise you both this right now
No one can ever take your place

I think about you boys every day
And how I love and miss you so
Then I think about the love we shared
That only the three of us will know

But there is no doubt about it
You both are my beautiful baby boys
You both hold the key to my heart
You are my loving pride and joy

I know there will come a day
When we will be together again
And when I think about that special day
And sit and smile and grin

Then something happens 
I start to shed a tear
This time it is for love
And not anymore for fear

I will get to hold you both 
In my arms once more
And it will be just like the times
We had once before

You both mean the world to me
With all my heart and soul
I am longing for the day in heaven
When our family will once again be whole

So until that day comes
Take care of one another
Because if you don’t I will know
Hey I’m still your mother

To My sweet little angles
What I have to say
If it wasn't for the two of them
I wouldn't be a mommy today
I wear their footprints on my heart
Each and every day!