My Depression

In life I always fell short and never felt like I had the energy to finish. I’ll get so excited that my nose would bleed. To find myself in a corner or alone in my room. This overwhelming energy this feeling that was not caused by any drug. At night when it was time to fall asleep my mind worked more than ever. Finding myself in tears or crying into my pillow worries that a young kid should not have. To wake up in the morning with no drive to do anything. In a house where you trying to  express these feelings was impossible and I didn’t know when to start. Locking myself away in a room with no food and a shower away from those who loved me. As I grew old them highs and lows still was there. The lost of jobs because the shame and pity you brought on yourself. Now not going to work made it worse because you now feel worthless. I used anger and aggression to express myself. I sat down with doctors but I couldn’t talk to a person I couldn’t relate to. Because I felt like your reaction and response came from a text book. So I kept it all in. These feelings I’ve learned how to cope with. These feelings became a gift for me but all good things have it’s bad parts a gift and a curse. I take these racing thoughts this heavy pressure I feel in my heart I use in a form of a art. True words I thank you for reading