My first writing for 2020.

Perhaps this place does inspire creativity as I was told it may.
Regardless of the quips and smart-ass priceless remarks that even I possess. But it's harmless fun. I know.
I wrote this reflecting on something that I heard was said today while online gaming.
Which can be such a salty and toxic place at the best of times. There's some really shitty things that people can say to one another.
But it angers me when a friend does it to another person. Especially when they don't know the circumstances like I did. And I told them too, but not before I put them in their place.
Words can push people over the edge.
They can be mentally just as physical as any object, a knife, a stone, a stick. Names will indeed hurt people.
Nasty ridiculing remarks and criticism can kill creativity.
It put my creativity into a coma, for a very long time.
Until now. But even now I'm not even sure.
But anyway I saw these remarks written on the feed, and it infuriated me.

"For f@@ks sake take some medication!"
"Depression can be fixed, you just need to get help ya idiot!"

And my fury grew from those thoughtless words.
Not said to me. But I felt them all the same.
And I spoke my mind "Don't be such an insensitive prick!"
An awkward pause followed not surprisingly.
Were they typing a response?
Perhaps they didn't expect what they said had triggered me My guns were blazing now.
Go on, go on and say some more I thought, and I will take you down again.
Caught up in what I had experienced myself.
And angry at the people who had said that to me.
Empathy didn't have a price.
But they acted like it did. Perhaps forgetting when I was there for them.
When hope had been depleted, careless words would have broken them.
How quickly they forgot, or were they too medicated themselves to care now?
Perhaps too numb. Perhaps too dumb to know how those words would hurt this already broken person.
I knew how they felt. From what they privately wrote to me.

"I'm feeling so bad....I should go offline"
"Why?"
"I don't feel like playing games anymore"
"Are you sad? Hey it's not your fault!"

They never replied, and i worried then, the damage had been done by my thoughtless friend.
I typed away in fury to him.
"What were you thinking? Do you want to chase them away? They're a player far better than you and I combined.You don't know what they're going through!"
And he back peddled. But too late now.
I still haven't heard from them.
Writing this now at 3am.
Online, hoping they'll see me.
And come back, where they deserve to be :)