My Internal Pain!.

                                                  My Internal Pain!.                                                                                                    My internal pain I have, I have no shame for it's been created for me by others and that's the truth, but because of it there has been on occasion times of me hitting the roof.    
                                                                                                                              My internal pain I have, stems from years of abuse physical and mental from the Police, to Psychiatrists to my old neighbours the Crisps, who it turns out are family of a Police member and for that me and my sweet mother are mere numbers. The internal pain I have, has also been created by Government Agencies they have treated me and my sweet mother like a fucking goose by being ignorant, arrogant and corrupt to the truth.  
                                                                                                                              My internal pain I have, has over the years driven me to create rivers of tears like a sponge water logged my soul has been squeezed almost dry, and there isn't much years left to fall from my eyes when I cry. And fear I no longer have of anything or anyone in part thanks to when I was 15 and 17, being fired at with guns. The first time it happened I balled my eyes out, the bullets were zipping straight past my head, and kicking up near me in the dirt that day I surely thought that I was going to die. By the time I was 17 it happened again this time with one of my friends, the bullets again zipped past our ears you could hear the bullets cutting through the air, as they travelled at terminal velocity straight through the air, and they kicked into the dirt right near our feet which made both of us dance our feet up and down like dancing a jig. But this time my friend was balling his eyes out and I was laughing like I'd just seen a clown, so we both stood tall and erect behind a big solid tree and after 10-15 minutes the gun fire ceased.  
                                                                                                                                                My internal pain I have, has nearly killed me dead inside left me completely numb with no place to hide, I've been bashed by people, including the Police, and at age 14 I was cut across the left pec with a knife. The scar is still there 24 years later and with all I've endured I'm still a lover not a fucking hater and every time I look at it I'm reminded of that cold dark night in that alleyway, I ripped some dope plants off with some friends weeks prior and unbeknown to us the grower had security cameras. So he hunted looked for us until he found me walking alone one night in that alleyway if I hadn't of been for my youth and fast reflexes from being taught karate, I may of died that night, but fuck the knife cut me deep but I didn't bleed I jumped back as the man swung the knife like a cat on a mother fucking hot tin roof. It cut open my shirt and cut me open my flesh deep fuck it fucking hurt I ran off into the night, when I got home I ran straight to my room lay on the bed and started to cry. I learnt that day my lesson, never to steal dope again wether friend or fucking foe.  
                                                                                                                               My internal pain I have, has gone on for years and years no wonder I smoke tobacco and the fucking green herb for it relaxes me so much and numbs my stress, depression, anxiety for another day sets me free inside. But those Infra Red Heat Bulbs used by corrupt Victorian Police on me that November day back in 2013, damn how that was excruciating pain watching my skin bubble up into blisters and watch the blood run free I cried and screamed like a little girl. Before  I die I'd love to meet a woman to love me give me kisses and cuddles, hold me and soothe me when I may start to cry, and make a beautiful baby with me one or maybe two, be boys or girls I don't really care. For at least when I'm dead and gone I'll leave something of me behind, my DNA for me to live though my beautiful babies again and I hope they make something of themselves unlike their dad, and they live in peace day and night.