My life

I’m not right like I feel like I’m always wrong and I’m always fucked and I put myself down instead of others doing it because I don’t want anyone to know it what it feels like to put someone down and it feels horrible I don’t think I could do it or anyone I feel normal but not normal I feel sad but not sad I feel happy and excited but when I do I start thinking about bad things evil things like when I’m mad I’m not mad I don’t give a fuck it’s everything and nothing at the same time and it doesn’t make sense and I’m just a ball of confusion ready to explain and talk to people to help me but that’s the ducking thing I don’t know  what to say to them.to everyone and anyone.to no one