My Own Paradox

I'm the girl who's always angry

Always happy, just a mess

I'm the girl forever stubborn

I'm the girl who won't say yes

i'm the one who's always moving,

Always running, always tired

And I'm wound up, tightly coiled

An explosive ready, wired

Lonely, listless, lazy, lying

and I'm liable to crack

With the weight of all my

hatred and my anger on my back

And I so don't want to be hear

God, I hate these tiny halls

I hate the blank fake people 

and the empty cheerfel calls

I'm just furious and miserable 

and I just cant stop crying

My face turns blank, my heart turns cold

and no one knows I'm lying

I'm holding back, I'm letting loose

I'm confident and scared

I need someone to comfort me

But so far no one's dared

I'm scared to look, I'm scared to see

I'm scared to know myself

So I'll hide all that hate and fear 

on my heart's deepest shelf