Poem -

~ MY TIME TO DIE ~

{beyond the pain}

~ MY TIME TO DIE ~

I wish to sleep, a long, dark, sleep
Where there has never been
Such a silence or epic shyness
Being haunted by my every sin
Oh, great creator, what is it in my nature
So depraved and deathly forlorn
That haunts my twisted sleep, where I fight to keep
That baby-smell with which I was born

I long to dream, a most decrepit dream
Inside death's most infesting rest
Whose sinful fall at my soul does gnaw
Deep into this troubled trespass
Where man's duality is ripped at the seams
And sex is stitched into its twist
Where innate ideas on procreation
Does enhance my selfish aching
And where my bid for God's congress......bleeds

I wish to witness the light that shines on the other side
Where life becomes the dream
Where blood is quantum Love
And all is as it seems
Where WE are understanding and God does all the planning
So I can finally find that big sleep
Filled with blissfulness without painfulness
Where ALL is precisely as it should be
And so,
With no need to cry, I wrap myself up
Ever so comfortably,
Inside,
My time to die...

Tony Taylor
*still working out the kinks on this. : )

i

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Comments

author
Cherie Leigh

Hey T...I know your pain can make you think of all aspects of life and death and the in between.  It is a subject that people don't like to talk about.  I think the key to acceptance of death is what you mention about coming to an understanding that God is in control and has a plan for our lives...even after death....a rest that need not have fear attached.  The unknown is always a scary concept on this side of the veil...when facing struggles and pain.  We fight death like we want to stay on this side of life...when this one is just a test for the next one that is eternal and we can keep that youthful baby-smell..lol You are very contemplative and reflective in your poems and still manage to keep a great poetic flow in relaying your serious topics.  Great work. 
Love n Hugs, C xo 

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author
Tony Taylor

Thanx C!!.....I Love You so much....... Like you so much...... and feel blessed to be your life-partner........I am so happy to receive your commentaries..... not only do they help me..... but they help other readers and writers to understand where I'm coming from!!....... Thank you my Love!!....... Lots of Hugs-n-Kisses!!........ Me.      :  )

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author
Cherie Leigh

Awwww....I did NOT expect this comment back ...wow...that is sweet.  I know you do not have a fear of dying....but don't check out on the world any time soon...God has a plan....You are a strong man, T...Your will is pretty amazing.  xo  I love you. xo C  

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author
Greg Etsell

Tony if your as sick
as Cherie says 
do you go to the
doctor, this year
I went 11 time to the doctor
4 time to ear docter bec 
ihave bad ears 3 times to the 
dentist bec I have bad teeth
then I went to my primary care doctor
3  times bec I have diabetes and they 
put on a new pill  that has kick my
ass and went to eye doctor ones this 
years so if you want to  feel better
my dear  Tony  go to the doctor 
and if you die that would be very sad 
for Cherie and all of us that care 
about you 

Reply
author
Tony Taylor

Wow GREG!!.....I DO have several doctors...... and I go to the doctor quite frequently.......I have to seal with chronic pain but I have a spinal cord stimulator implanted on my spine that helps me to walk and have less pain....I also take medications..... so not to worry my friend..... everything is being taken care of..... My poem was just a poetic expression of my illness presented artistically...... so don't take it too seriously..... it's just me being me.... smiles.....thanx so much for the kind words brother..... Lots of Love to you and yours!!........LOVE & ROCKETS!!........T xo.  : )

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Violet Freese

Tony in all seriousness this is a classically and hauntingly beautiful 
piece of art.Your way of expressing this topic in bitter sweet achingly 
true words just make me pause and stifle the tears that came up.
It is a piece of rare writing that us humans write that transcends our
humanity and loudly proclaims our spirituality and the triumph'over 
death we have.
Violet

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author
Susan Roberts

I loved this so much,  so expressive and you delivered this with honesty, you write beautifully 5 star ... Well done

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