Never ending demon

I've been caught up in this mess, since I could comprehend and feel stress. 
Born and raised to only know this dark side. where we called life.
i struggle and i struggle with this disease of addiction. I succeed and excel, just to then fall head first into the downward spiral. I want a good straight and narrow life...and I want to stay a good wife. I love my children and am a loving mother. That means well then falls head first, hard wondering when these demons will come to there end.