A New Begin

Always waiting for the end to be here.

The day starts and ends with me waiting in a line for the end that doesn't ever appear.

The confusion that can't be unraveled.

This is the path I travel

I make it a race to change the problems I face.

I'm so impatient as the seaching for the truth is a waste

Another dead end i will have to take

I found something else my brain is trying to create

a recurring thought that tends to hold me back from change

The brain is now on a path that i notice i have no control

This begins the shut down that limits my brains expectation even more

This gives me no way to know where ive been and where to go.

The feeling of being alone sinks in and the body becomes a ghost

I start to plan a way to escape.

It would be simple if I could run away but that not a opition I can take.

Im facing a brain that hides myself from I.

This isn't going to be an easy task to complete facing me

The escape plan didn't have a chance to even be

As i continue to hold on to nothing at all to my belief

This brain focuses on the next thing to surpress to make it harder to progress

My thoughts split into a existence under lock and key

As the struggles become more and more to overtake.

I start to feel im here to stay.

Guessing that is just my life working out the kinks of the remaining links

Hoping my brain is just being repaired for the time being.

As you would think this would be what is happening but it lacks the effort to be.

The will to change is not a emotion i can seek

its not the only thing becoming weak .

My eyes full of pain as it watches my life become an endless grief

that will never figure that reality is right there just in your reach

The days that becomes all the same

Blurring the date as it becomes easier to believe its not worth to think

about days that is now a period of existence i will never see

The longer it takes the more simple things start to be

Just a ticking time bomb on the verge of acting on it own tendencies

Still frozen in time by a mind that becomes a war zone waiting to unleash

My mind of mine become mines to the mind exploding into the sky.

The fragments of what used to be piles up on the path never to know it's purpose it used to mean

glimpses of thoughts that were whole but now it doesn't matter as a spic of sand

As I walk on not knowing why I cant repair a brain that isn't there

I climb the stairs as the wind takes things I will never know into places never to be seen

As i setup for another day through my life thats becomes hard to claim

Making it difficult to know who I am and the route I came.

The truth will remain a mystery and the struggles I face just keeps the brain running in place.

The thoughts that should make the change is lost without a trace.

The brain represents all the choices that needs to make this go away

Giving it a sense of repeat as the answers start to sound all the same.

Thats why im stuck inside a mind trying to hold on to everything in rewind.

As I continue to watch the ways I can't change but only replaced with empty space

I hide my eyes hoping for it to end this pain of shame

knowing im losing all aspects of life as it drains

You would think this is a sign to the body that if you follow this chain it will show you a life that doesn't remain

Just another thing I can't control

the feeling of hope flys out the door.

A door that holds only the reminisce that was destroyed into bits of sand that now looks like an endless beach

the best of you just depletes piece by piece it leaves

Sending the body into a state of extreme pain

My brain panics as it tears up what may be all it remains

Then a person actually comes out from the brain control frame

finally someone shows their face to claim the catastrophic brain

Th drive to make a change has finally came into play.

Now noticing that he doesn't want death as many thoughts figured that was the only thing left.

He catches his breath then works on the steps that are next.

Carefully choosing a path giving a chance to get a reaction to the mind that is just frozen in time.

The words of the man will force the mind to recognize that its not dead but restrain from any activity it used to have

The changes that were made now created a mind tidal wave.

Watching it unload as the wake takes my hopes for a vigorous pace with no letting go

giving this guy a jump start into life that bearly remains to even struggle .

starting to stack up the layers that are in my way.

I begin to learn from my mistakes

throwing out the bad ones that are just a waste of space

cleaning a path i could can take for today that becomes yesterday and the next will be tomorrow as it becomes a pattern i can follow

This gave my hopes a launching pad as I continue to grow from day to day

As the feeling of just not knowing what really is a next step to create

Trying to retain infomation that i know thats not there

just becoming another pile of sand waiting to spread by air

The pain of letting go seems to continues to be there with the strength of strong paste holding it in its place

A constant reminder of the disgrace that was made

Trying to seize the day I remember the things I hate and try to stay away. 

Keeping an eye on the ways that didn't even matter til this day. .

As I continue to widen my mind and deal with challenges of claiming things i cant remember even its name

understanding the aspects of every little thing and trying to find a concept that i can relate

I even tried to hide but it always seemed to find me some way.

Making me realize I need to blow everything sky high giving me a clean slate .

I then set the charges for my get away.

As it explodes i see a life floating in and out of the the smoke.

This gave me a sense of hope and I followed my heart threw the unknown.

Now im tracking the thoughts that i thought were lost

The mind that cant find home is now recreating memories that gives me a strength to carry on.

The days becoming more alive and questions just keep hitting my mind

Some were easy and some hard to find.

The more difficult ones kept pushing my boundaries that is growing slow as time continues to go with no control

my mind begins to question the reasoning behind the way it lost it's way

Then it started to blame the shame on my brain.

Unleashing a hell of a problem thats not easy to tame.

As i look upon a problem that is in flames.

I then try to push the problem that's still in flames on the edge of insane.

I remember roaming a land in darkness when my brain had the flame to help guide our way

As the problem is just another empty space

But this one seems to keep rising from the smoke

An art form in its own way

Trying to learn to controI the basics of the element and understand its strengths

Noticing these problems cant be held without pain

But a light source and taking cold away

Also giving me a sense what time it might be in the day

I have to figure out how to make the problems I can't seem to shake to become the strength I will embace.

Noticing the gains in my faith helps me conquer problems that seemed to not go away.

As my journey is noticeably lighter and my wit is becoming brighter

a new edge to life is becoming the missing piece that claims how to be.

Learning the ins and outs of respect gives me the ability to break what holds me in place.

Respecting my surroundings brings a since of love that you learn to follow with grace

Its like a code that you can't break but theres nothing enforcing the laws as its just a way of life that works best

As you continue to gain knowledge by using common sense

A man that understands the powers of knowledge and it only takes a few words to start to define yourself.

Taking chances on the variances of giving and taking as I learn to let the problems I face fall with just a shake.

As I walk on the feeling what will happen next

As i grow I will always know the path I took to become a person with something to show

The strength that i learned from the stuggles i faced is now a force for my hopes

Taking the problems that had a deadly grasp on my life are now a flick of the wind never to see again.

I now take everyday with grace and sense of control.

I keep the fight alive as a dull light becomes a shine oh so bright.

The light now shines across the lands making it easier to know where i am.

My eyes only knows everything that I faced on my new path of faith

The strength i hold grows everyday becoming the force to push forward

the necessary changes to become a person with not only strength but hope that carries me along the way

Taking what I have gained to the next day until death takes it all away

As if yesterday was just the start of the new begin and i was just waiting for it to end

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