No Rose left for me

I wish I would have never seen his call.
But you were showing me something on your Facebook wall.
I wish I would never have eaten your dinner.
I would not be thought of as a user and would be a bit thinner.
I wish I would have woke you to check on your needs.
Instead of working outside cutting grass and pulling weeds.
I wish I would have ran to your water meter and turned it off.
Rather than just sitting there looking like a sloth.
I wish I had never used your gas by driving your car.
I thought it was ok because I never went far.
I wish I had guarded my heart and my soul.
Then I would be ok and my life would feel whole.
But I saw something in you that captured my love.
You made me feel good and I saw cupid, heart shapes and a white dove.
Neither of us were perfect but you felt good to me.
I looked into your soul but much there I failed to see.
Now despite my love for you I am treated like a thief.
You spew hate towards me and offer no relief.
So the pain in my heart grows more by the day.
You push me off and only have bad things to say.
I fought the good fight to hold on to you my Rose.
And attempted to answer questions your anger has posed.
Now all I can say is I am truly sorry for failing to show you how much I adore.
The clock is expiring now, two points behind and I have failed to score.
So I am left a loser at love again in my life.
This time is no different than the time I lost my wife.
Because I saw something that to me was precious and true.
That night We were dancing is the night that I knew.
That I wanted you to be in my life.
Not as a fling or a hook up but possibly as my Wife.
So this loss is now so much more than one from my past.
The pain will always be there and the failure will last.
One day I hope you recall the good things that we had.
Things I will remember when I am really sad.
I will never forget you and the kindness you gave me.
From darkness you now are the only woman who can save me.
I look towards you with great hope that you will recall my love for you and finally see.
But at the end of the day I find that there is no Rose left for me.