Not Just Survive

I wanna be alive, 
I wanna do more than just survive... 
Have fun, have friends, 
Happiness that never ends!

But missing someone till it hurts, 
All alone in pillow forts, 
Smiling feels like lying now,
I need to escape somehow... 

I wanna fully live, and thrive, 
I wanna do more than just survive, 
Feel light and happy without a care, 
But how am I supposed to get there? 

Sitting in the dark all day, 
Then crying the night away, 
Trying to keep it hidden from the rest, 
Even though, clearly, it's not best... 

Hardly living, dead inside,
Only sadness and worry abide,
Wanted to be more than this, 
But just awaiting deaths cold kiss...