Nothing less than

Nothing less than this feeling you cause me, it doesn’t matter who you are because I have no idea if what I feel is real I have written so many times of these love enterprises only to look back in embarrassment at ever having thought the person had feelings for me in the interest of defense for the first time I decide to move cautiously. This feeling is rare however even the previous two never cause this before like a warm hand over my heart looking at her smile squeezes my heart so gently it almost hurts in a deep warm way like a second means to pump the oxygen to my veins I can feel my blood accelerating with the force of her eyes a deep blue that may as well be the skies themselves descending on me I want nothing less than this feeling I don’t care how long it takes how hard I have to look nothing less than this giddy feeling I want to love deep in a way that I know falling out of it will hurt but life is nothing without pain one can’t enjoy anything without the melancholy of the antithesis to happiness maybe I enjoy this in between where there is no rejection a purgatory where my imagination can continue designing futures like looking into the parallel universes a scientist artist a weird union but the artist can imagine all the timeline can he not isn’t it every possible ending every possible beginning the more I become strong the more things stay stubborn like my capacity to love a stranger with fictitious lives imagined only in my mind I have been married so many times I have been widowed so many times what a full life I have had only at my thirties to create is to be immortal.