Numbers

The word smart. Sounds like an insult
Like, it was not supposed to be given to a girl like me..
A girl dressed in the symptoms of ADHD
A girl with depression and anxiety
A hyperactive beast, inattentive
A girl who needs attention - a girl who needs
I need… to do all my assignments!
Oh God I forgot to write my paper
And study for two quizzes and tests
Everyday is a test - it seems
Full of questions I haven’t asked yet
And that I can’t answer
Full of actions I can't find excuses for
Me? I’m an honours student
And well, I lived an honored life, full of having no time.
But wait! I did my homework in less than three (3) hours last night!
One (1) two (2) three (3)
Such an important number
3 as in the rule of (three)
Rock, paper, scissors
Lights camera action
Red, white, blue
Beginning middle end
Plato said the soul has three (3) parts.
3 choices - 3 decisions
(3) three - (me)
But wait….
My lucky number is 8!
8 (eight) times today, I forgot or didn’t get
Something in school that was taught or said -
Eight (8) times this week I have been yelled at - someone’s been mad
For things I couldn't control - I’m really not that bad - you know...
Eight (8) sure is… great?
But I can't make excuses.
I'm-
Sorry. Did you say something?
I don't remember
I wasn’t listening
I didn't remember to listen
Wait. Did I lock my locker?
Did I take my pill last night
I think I need some advice…
Oh God it’s my turn to roll the dice
I’m sorry for keeping everyone waiting
I was thinking about when I saw a squirrel
My dogs favorite things in the world
My dog is my favorite thing in the world
Squirrelly - isn’t it…
Our world is only one of many and in one I don't have ADHD
You know - I accept the word smart as describing me
All of us can say we're inattentive, hyper - something
All of us have to tame a beast
But if yours was untamed like me, how would you be?
Because you're inattention is only a fraction of mine
Mine is a dollar and yours is a dime.
Imagine not be able to concentrate every second, every moment
From when you wake up to when you sleep
From the car to the streets.
So many things are moving it’s hard to focus on one
- Yet the world seems - still
Oh I can never sit still
I am an honours student - who isn't perfect and who fails
Oral tests are death and spelling - not my Holy Grail
I have a learning disability called ADHD
And I just want to be free
But what does that even mean?
I've fallen in love with the fact that I am different
And it will be the death of me
I matched 93/100 kids with ADHD
Most people would be angry at being a statistic
But I'm not -
My percentile tells me I'm a number
And all my life that's how I’ve been defined
(100 ) one hundred on a test
Numbers on a scale
5’1” -Numbers
But I don't mind
I want to fix my mind
I want to- eat ice cream