OF JEALOUSIES

I was five the first time I experienced something LIKE jealousy,

one of the boys from the swimming group, went to the roller rink with another girl,

they held hands.

I did not understand physical contact,

it was the intention I understood,

not obviously of exclusivity,

but of expectation,

expecting approximation to mean something, privileged,

connection to mean something,

I wanted to be with her.

When I was sixteen I had my first kiss,

it was a french kiss,

it got me so excited,

she was a Belgian girl her name was Sabine, she was very nice...

we danced to Bob Marley...

I was sixteen and traveling through Greece,

she was part of another tour group at the same hotel...

many of the young girls seemed to want me,

I was flatterd and felt great about her attention

and the attention of all of the girls,

it was the first time I felt attractive.

An ex of mine used to make me jealous, she would flirt with my friends,

I learned from my first girlfriend however not to trust relationships,

she invited her ex to a party, and was all over him.

My father would check out women all of the time apparently,

I never once noticed it, but my mother did,

how they would fight, it made me ill adapted to some extent. 

I am not the jealous type, but we are slaves to conditioning, some of us,

I find trusting someone difficult, but manageable,

why does love entail that you are important to another and not others,

is romantic love territorial purposelessly?

What cures the human heart,

of jealousies?