Of trials and forgiveness...

Of Trials and Forgiveness…  
 
Eternally alone and vacant thro forever past, knowing not what one could bear
Keeping apart from all the distortions, a part of me cruelly understood
That the sacred noise and the secret lies, and the graceless fall and the glad denial
Were something only I ever heard, with the perpetual years torturously turning
Caught in stasis I realised, the cover hid the pages buried and burned within…
 
A different chapter, a melody, a poison, in distinct and stark realisation
Morbidly consuming all, the shrouded chorus finally suffocates
In magnificent unreadable scripts, for which no voice calls the true meaning
Sails set on impending collision towards, the storm becalmed all around
Mesmerised and caught in total dizziness, while entwined eternally along this…
 
Ravaged by such glass humility, and with impossible meanings to fathom  
But with a touch or with a smile, with a breath I am continually captured
Forever held in beautiful grace, as indeed I always doubt myself
For my strengths ever build, even as I always hide a secret stare
My mind overloaded once more, unable to sense the merest calm within…
 
But while at resolves door, and with just a single, simple utterance
I am built once again by these words, and with each sick beast bested
And darkest dream denied, beside me, I never fear the fever
Every pain, torment, self-criticism and deep loathing, leaves me greedy  
For the truth is a welcome balm, with memories cast to distant images…
 
I hold the trust that my body will be, scarred and racked no more
My mind now untouchable, but as I relax they creep up louder
And pick and fester again and again, the terror that I would fail  
The terror to disappoint, the terror of losing any moments
With the way revealed I must, with care forge my journey…
 
No matter near or distant vision, entwined promises remain true
Straight and mindful to the last, to the path trodden aloft
Destined and written, the road we have become all familiar
Accustomed and sublime, my being no longer mine to name
My worlds to ever heal, my skies to soar in mercies freedom…
 
My frailties revealed, in full knowledge of never again should be
As always I am wantonly raised, and bathed in calm until I sleep
I rest now in arms that protect, enveloped in sweet cotton forgetfulness
Forever the strength of will, to overcome the doubts that tear
And wipe away that which shows, found within both hidden and lost…
 
Imbibe deeply of the breath that pacifies, when each the fears cast such doubts
But with a growing stillness, as ages become gaunt dark rings
With pain defeated and peace bequeathed, as we look back and, cherish clearly
Doubting not the challenges before, nor tests beyond to fluster,  
Hope stolen will be returned, and no spoiling will long last…
 
Until beyond the ending of time and the birthing of impossible gods.