ONE OF THOSE PARTIES

It's one of those parties I don't want to go
Where boring people will be on show 
They will talk boring things don't you know 
I will look at my watch sure time is going slow 

It's one of those parties where I feel out of place 
I must attend so put on a brave face 
Must try and find a corner and empty space
Maybe leave early without any trace 

It's one of those parties where food is on a stick
The guests are all posh and I'm the Bolshevik
They certainly get on my chimes and wick 
Pass me a bag I'm going to be sick 

It's one of those parties that I don't enjoy 
Where the host insists on calling me old boy
The hostess laughter is also starting to annoy 
Rather be at home with my child and his toy