ONLY YOU KNOW, AND YOU CAN'T TELL

Why am I here?

How did I make it this long?

​​​​​​Thinking about ways how to live really makes our brain get a workout...

​​​​​There were so many times, some stranger guy would tell me I'm beautiful...

​​​Thoughts begin racing...

Is that why I was molested?

Could it be?

Pressure of being the next Shirley Temple could make you want to rip your feet off or get ugly...

Kids tease you no matter if you're looking alright or they don't like anything about you...

What did I get born for?

Were my parents going to divorce if I didn't show up but, I had to be a real surprise when I did?

Only thing I know, I was a real surprise...

Was I a good one or not so good?

Received no reply...

​​​​​​I knew later on that I thought I could die but, would it be better if I did it or someone else kill me or by accident...

If I did it that could be worst?

Then I became reckless...

I would be on the hunt for a possible murderer...

Whether they were out on parole or I had made them so mad enough to do it...

Then nothing worked out...

I couldn't find anyone out on parole but, they found their crime...

Everyone else just walked away...

I couldn't even get that right...

Then I did find the one who said he doesn't hit women or believe in it...

He was a liar and tried to kill me...

He could have done it pretty easy...

I had to live...

So I did...

After the second guy who said those same words, he was a real charmer, and I thought I did good...

He did some things that he had to get rid of me or something and after a little over a years time and then he tried to kill me 3 times...

In between he was a real great guy...

I tried to understand his moods but, I couldn't and he wouldn't get help because, I was the reason he was like this so he'd say...

How could that be?

I worked 3 jobs, I wasn't even there to get him into that mood...

But, someone or something was...

I knew I still had to live...

Then something happened and I realized that fighting for my life, okay I was being tested...

It's been a rollercoaster ride, one that doesn't make you get back in line...

It'll take you around until you say stop...

Life can be a challenge and one worth fighting for...

I'm still here but, now I live differently...

Things aren't perfect...

It's what we tell ourselves that's make a real difference...

​​​​Many times we just have to push our way through at the beginning of the negative voices and catch it at the start...

Kick it down and know it's a liar...

In time it does get easier...

Find your strength first, before you just permanently lay yourself down...

What happens after that, only you know and you can't tell but, fighting you can do it, and share it...

Hugs...

sparrowsong