Overcoming Anorexia

A broken girl trying to find an escape,
By searching for control,
By starving herself.
That girl is me. That girl was me.

Everything felt out of control.
I couldn’t make it better.
I wished I could escape myself, but didn’t know how.
I looked hideous and people saw it.

Ashamed of myself and hiding,
Behind the curtain of a smile,
I tried to seem happy and worthy of appreciation.
But inside: torture.

The only thing that I felt able to control,
Was food.
I chose not to eat anymore.
I gave me “power and strength”.

I thought I was in control.
I thought “not eating” made me happy.
But I wasn’t.
It was tearing me apart.

But after losing too much weight,
I realized I had to take control, truly this time.
I knew I had to eat again.
And I knew it would be extremely hard and scary.

The struggle that I went through,
To give my body the source of life,
Is the toughest thing,
That I’ve had to overcome.

But I didn’t give up.
It took me a while to get the hang of it.
But after three months,
I ate again.

I’m proud of myself.
For being stronger than my mind.
I’m proud for pushing through,
And staying brave at my lowest point.

The very end isn’t near,
But I’m getting there.
In the distance,
I can see the finish line.

And a McDonald’s :)