Pain

would it be better for you when I am gone
should I just cut really deep 
would you even weep
I am afraid to speak
afraid you will leave
afraid that I will be stuck here singing the same song
afraid you won't understand how I feel
I think you should know the pain is here and the pain is real
I wonder when I will heal
do you even know what its like to be abused 
to be reused like your somebody's toy
I don't understand how hurting people brings them joy
I am not a lab rat 
don't you know that
I am wounded so bad I am surprised I am still intact
I just thought you should know that
but you probable don't care
you should know that the pain makes me feel naked and bear
after all these years the pain is still here
the pain is what i fear
oh somebody tell me is the pain always going to be there.