pain

I haven't felt happiness in a long time
The urge for pain goes down my spine
The anticipation for blood
That bright liquid coming out in a flood
Worthless
That's what i am
Life to me is just a sham
Spending your whole life just waiting to die
The thought just makes me wanna cry
What is wrong with me?
Psychotic thoughts
They run my life
My hands just searching for the knife
I know i shouldn't be selfish
But I've spent my whole life like this
Screaming at myself in the mirror
Why can't my head think a little clearer?
Medications
They say they'll help
But i wish to take more staring at them on the shelf
My dad takes one, two, three a day
He has many issues
Too many to count
Is that my future?
Then why should i care?
Life to me doesn't seem that fair
Maybe ill go
Maybe ill stay
Ill soon find out
As my heart tells me which to shout...

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