The pain I cause

Near you, I feel an agony from your happiness
As the scab caused by you...tears and bleeds anew!
How I wish there was a bandage big enough to soak up my loss.
All I can do is watch you smile at another
Laughing, happy, content without me.
One mistake I made...one!
I let you go, I broke your heart, when I could not decide!
All my fault, my own curse to bear,
Yet...
I cannot shake you, clean you from my mind...
...Nor my heart!
How I miss your touch
Your warm body next to mine
How you gently snore when asleep...
How I miss you!
Need you!
The sadness in your eyes is gone
Replaced by a glow of happiness...not of my doing.
All I did was hurt you because I could not decide!
I am a Coward!
I let you down and now I suffer
I wilt as you bloom in his deserved love
I see...know you still love me
But we know I am not right for you
I am a tornado in a bottle waiting to break free and cause havoc!
Goodbye...I will hurt you no more.
One step...just one and I will fly and be free for a few moments
As the earth rushes up to embrace me
Soon you will be free of me
...To be happy.
I love you, though I never truly said it.
Forever the memory of you will be with me,
The one I let slip away...
In a moment of cowardice.
Be happy and know though in my sadness
I am happy for you.
You taught me I could love...thank you...
Wish I could have reciprocated...
Adieu...my grave beckons...