Papersketches: Silent Walls

Fearing,
Terrified,
It's too quiet,
I'm afraid:
How I loved these silent walls,
Bare and gray and dark,
Quiet and informal,
Here I cry aloud, alone;
Distant fears from the younger days of me,
Being told...what I was told,
Not fully able to understand what it meant,
Yet as I thought once I was safe,
I would

forget;
I can't forget what my own father would tell me,
My real father, not my Dad,
How could anyone be so cruel as to tell me,
I'd comprehend the definition of a ravishing when to me,
It happened?
Because he didn't love me as his son,
Because I wasn't the wreck of a son he wanted me to be,
He dared say so to me;
Now, fear in me combats the love I wish to share again,
Yes, I am the romantic sparrow,

But turbulent winds have made me crash here and there,
And I never said I was invincible,
But to hear it, to see it,
To see the terror in the eyes of the victims,
To know the fears of wondering who's watching you,
"For all else is my own paranoia and watch,
until at ease I can find myself a season;"
Oh silent walls!
I shiver, knowing how it feels to be hunted in a dream,
Feeling like an animal cowering down,
Even though I have powers at night within the dream world;
Where are these powers now, oh mighty sparrow?
Where is your subtle strike and sharp wile?
It is here that the fears are called to my remembrance,
Yet it allows me to reach a hand towards broken hearts,
Those who feel less than all, and are not,
Beautiful girls I know, who are convinced of less-than-human status,
When what I see is a pain needing coaxing to heal;

I will coax you,
I will help you begin to heal,
Dreams are dreams, but some of them are so real,
I can almost feel the pains from the fear;
But I can't die here in pity,
I can't let them go without a chance to know,
That even someone out there cares about them,
Someone out there has the ears and patience to listen, to love them,
Even though they feel less than themselves, or useless,

Or dirty or worthless; all things which I have heard,
"Love me not; I'm no good," I have been told,
But all I say is this;
"I love you for who you are, despite what you say,
Despite what has happened to you,
And in that pain I will comfort you,
Better or worse, more or less,
Always here to lean on;"

Wish I could say something they haven't heard before,
I drive myself crazy,
Still, know that it isn't just my happy face,
That makes this sparrow sing;
It's pain, strain, and the release of freedom to say I've been hurt,
Even if it was only a mental fear, a dream;
Thank you, silent walls for listening to me,
And in my gratitude, I wish to go on a romantic sparrow to all;
e love: