Past's Retribution

Is this my retribution,
Some painful, deserving retaliation,
If you want to take a deadly shot,
Then take it without a second thought,
End the merciless agony,
Make it a fatal casualty,
Make up your mind,
To end it quickly would be too kind,
Are you wanting me to suffer,
With no way to recover,
I lied, I hurt, I took my shot,
Wounding your heart without a chance of a blood clot,
Now it's all torn and broken,
Words of want and need desperately unspoken,
If you want to hurt me,
Go ahead and burn to the third degree,
No longer any truth or trust, 
What we had I know I crushed,
I'm trying all I can to mend and fix,
Pulling all I can out of fate's bag of tricks, 
But I feel that all I do is wrong,
Screwing up everything to where I'll never belong,

I can only do so much,
My past my only judge,
All my lies and mistakes in my face, 
The trials putting me in my place,
If you're wanting to break me, 
Then break it so I can see,
See that I will never be enough,
See that I should just stop and give up,
Is this your retaliation,
This painful, agonizing sensation,
But I will tell you something,
While you think I'm leaving or texting,
Doing wrong things behind your back,
Definitive proof is what you lack,
You believe that people come and take a seat,
While you're gone that all I do is cheat,
What can I do to prove to you,
That what I say is true, 
Happiness is all I want,
But I feel that I can't,
But it's all I ever wanted with you,
What I wouldn't try to undo,
All that I've put you through,
But this is my all consuming retribution,
To burn and die with heartbreaking flaming retaliation....