PERSONAL ADS!!

Our Berty doesn`t want a busty girl.... oh no!

Or a skinny stick insect!

But someone he can cuddle

And to the pictures he can take!

Someone with a bit of meat on her bones!

And a bit of a come hither look!!

But most of all...she must be able to bloody cook!

He likes a tasty meaty pie

Or simple home cooked chips for his tea.

And someone to shout at when the match is on TV!

Now our Berty`s a big fella!

And a bit wide in girth!!

He`s also 6ft 2

And he`s a bit ragged around the edges now!

Although I suppose there are still a few things that he can do!

He likes talking to his pigeons!

Who all insist on landing on the roof or in the bloody trees!!

He just begs and pleads with them all day long to come back down!

But they just ignore our Berty with great ease!!

Berty is no gallivanting hero

I`ll have you know!

And he does have a little bit of style!

He may even take you out dining once in a while!!

Our Berty`s still got all his bits and pieces

And they still all work very well!

But just how long for?!

The answer to that one!

Only God can tell!

So if you like the sound of him?

And want to see what makes our Berty tick!

Please don`t hesitate to call

Because her indoors wants rid of him quick!!

G xx