The Phone Message

Sold my last dry cigarette for a quarter

which brought me up to fitty cent

with a couple pennies to spare

So I figured, Fuck it!, I finally have enough change

to call someone who cares

No, I didn't figure you'd answer

but I do hope you got

one of them message recorders

that don't shut off till I'm through

Because if the Good Lord is willing

and my planets just might happen to ,

maybe, once again, be in harmony

I will get my fitty cent worth, by yolly,

for this call because I can tell you right now

I could write a book 'bout me own history of being

mentally and financially sodomized by the phone company

And when I say sodomized I mean butt raped, damnit

cuz a little sodomy never hurt nobody

if it were done proper, with a little love and consideration

for Chreeeeest sake!

Where you at?

Prolly just sittin' there by the telephone

gettin' a good laugh at me

cuz I'm down and out

If that's the case, then God pound your ass

fitty times

No, you're prolly out there

whoremongerin'

since Betty left your sorry ass,

yeah, you fucked that one up

Listen here, Charlie

every male has a dick; it takes a remarkable

male to not act like one

Should you ever, not only learn that truth,

but also practice it, then mayhap

Mayhap

You'll find a woman to suffer your sorry ass

I'm out

Peace, nigger