Please God ( about depression)

Please God
Please god give me a sign, tell me when things are bad, things will be fine. 
Why does this horrible sadness haunt me so intensely that I bitterly grief my life. 
Each second i suffer not knowing it will ever end.
Please god help me! I’m trapped in the icy cold rain, the rough wind blows straight into me and it hurts, its too painful and uncomfortable to even bear.
God tell me why I’m a living empty shell, who can't feel anything but the racing torment in my mind.  
Please, let my body be, this is a physical monster that's symptomatically torturing me.
Let me be free of this unexplainable terror, that’s paralysing me. I’m living in a dark world a real life horror show but no one else can see it. No one can comfort me here, I’m so frightened. I'm stuck in a room with foggy windows, my hands are tied and I can’t wipe away the mist. 
God, I’m so exhausted and i can't go on much longer.
I’m in so much pain but a pain too deep that it can't be dulled out by a pain killer.
My emotions and despair are explosive, uncontrollable and unbearable.
Please god help me wipe away my tears, stop me from crying and aid me to breathe in and out.
Let this desperate wish to die be a distance memory. 
Please god give me a sign, tell me when things are bad, things will be fine. 
Bring me peace, don’t leave me with fear, 
Give me joy from all around, because I can't see it anymore.
Let me smile again.
Let me have what I once had before. 
God, I beg you, for just one thing, let me be myself, let me exist, let me go home, only if its just for a minute.