Preferably

I open the phone book, find your number and call you.
Expressing how I feel when falling through 10 floors of boredom.
Its not healthy and I see that and I know you mean well but I don't need that.
Im more of a dream addict who does it alone.
I just know that I know I need feedback.
To survive instead of sleeping on roads and eating trash.
Being homeless wasnt a goal, just a get-away pathway.
To ditch my phone, my whole soul and hibernate.
Not like a bear cause as you see I've been busy.
Writing like im a dictionary thats gone missing.
And it needs to catch up on its words and shit.
Like my heart when it needs love instead of being burned to bits.
She always seems to be hurting me on purpose.
The pain that she gives me is certainty that ive earnt it.
Verbally, I'd prefer if someone came and conversed with me as a person.
Not like an outcast and personally, I feel like being murdered.
Sick thing to say but people who are alike understand.
I hate my fucking life but I don't want it to end.
But the few I care about will think im crazy for writing this.
But saying this is effort.
And that's time in the bin.
Wasted efforts repeats attempts time and again.
Aging and being pathetic is like a minor in sin.
I am a sin myself, a lie with a life.
Dont fake smile, ill see your lie in the grin.
The way I live life gives me time to reminisce.
I dont feel im alive but the sun shines on my skin.