Naomi's Cliff Edge (Proverbs 14:2)

Oh where is my Tree of Life?
Hate ...
It begins as intolerance
and ends in absolute repulsion
Who can take the betrayal of trust?
If you can,
then perhaps you'd never truly trusted
Should we trust anyone,
even God?
I fear I can't make up my mind
Do I expect from the Covenantal Author the best...
the worst... or
something in between?
What right do I have to either put The Lord in a box
or keep him out of one?
I have hoped and been blessed
I have propitiated and been disappointed
You name it, I've claimed it,
As a "child anointed",
a fatherless peacemaker
seeking Daddy, seeking God
As a broken and contrite heart,
a crushed reed,
a smoldering wick
But I still stink,
I'm still sick
Knowledge of this truth has not set me free
If I settle for my lot
am I giving up too soon
Should I hold out and still believe for a boon
Or should I pack my tears away
and stop crying for the moon
and admit I don't know what love is to find my saviour in the agora throng
He might be wearing a chador
in the guise of a suicide bomber;
A clandestine prince who treads like a Zen monk;
A dumb shepherd that leads me astray by his silence
Pointing the true way ahead for my blind left eye to miss
Tolling a bell that bounces off every tell
What happened to the Great Physician?
I lift my blood to the hills,
and help seems not want to exit its cave
Am I such a beast?
Or am I just game for an up and coming feast?
Have I come to ruin
by speaking so rashly?
This falcon cannot hear his falconer,
until the whistle of his Master's arrow
strikes his almond sized pump
And at this juncture
I compel the A-HMMD in me to step back
Before I have a heart attack