Purgatory

Opened my eyes,
Still, can’t see.

Wish I could fly,
Still no wings.

Desires never fulfilled,
Hopes and dreams always killed.

Roaming the world in a cloud of doubt,
Wondering what even is this life all about.

Why does everything feel paused?
Why do I feel stuck in time?
What is the cause?
Did I commit the crime?

Walking alone,
Like I can’t find my home.
I feel empty,
Won’t someone save me?

This darkness is always here,
Always clouding.
Thoughts are never clear,
Always crowding.

I sit and think about the past,
And the things I did.
I can’t escape my feelings because they’re too fast,
All of this darkness is something I dread.

Why is it rare that I smile?
Why do I force the happiness?
Why do I feel so vile?
Why do I continue to sink into the madness?

Maybe I'm exaggerating,
Maybe I'm overthinking.
Maybe I should stop the self-hating,
These feelings are all just sickening.

What do I do now?
I truly don’t know.
With my success, I don’t see the how,
I don’t know where my thoughts and I should go.

I'm the grim reaper,
a soul seeker who's used as a science beaker.

I'm a failed experiment with ambition,
yet there's no one there to listen

This dream of mines is the saddest story,
trapped in my very own purgatory