Purple Heart for Flowergirl with final formatting
You dance with a purple precision
Bringing rapture to my lonely heart
It was one easy decision
From the very end to the start
You are every which way just for me
Giving me love from the sky to the sea
...............
When you died you were swallowed by the waves
As you sank deep into the blue ocean
I reached into a vast sea that I could save
My heart was swept into the motion
You are every which way just for me
Giving me love from the sky to the sea
..........
A deep purple sunset covers our every being
In your heart is the deepest love amidst the blue
I am looking into your eyes for whom I see
In my soul is the love that I have just for you
You are every which way just for me
Giving me love from the sky to the sea
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Comments
Sadness and pain emanating the lyrics written by Jail, but instead of leaning on the resignation, with his heart purple bathed by the purple of the sunset makes a hymn to hope. A greeting, and stating that it is my opinion, so someone else motivates you a different feeling.
Lucas I need to fix a problem with the poem
I try to deliver the mixed emotion love and tragedy
and I work a bit more in the rhyme
Someone give only 1 star so needs editing
Thank you for excellent comments.
Perfect, one of the good things about Internet is that a document can be rectified and that the entire process of change of the poem can be followed by readers. In my first reading I captured a large part of that tragic emotion trying to emphasize the author. This search of perfection seems to me to be respectable, I also usually tweak things, especially Latin words of difficult translation. A greeting.
Lucas,
Can you possibly translate the
poem to another language?
What is your native language,
Spanish?
Cherie my French accent is liking your lovely name
as you can see my paragraphs disappeared
so the poem is all over the kitchen floor;
your good comments are for Jai a tasty treat
how are you doing? I am in Bali 27 October and
are you coming too? I say "treat yourself" ,
I enjoy your company and look forward to
sipping cool lemongrass tea under coconut tree with yourself.
Love from Jai :)
Hey Jai!!..........I agree with C on this write............and I'm still not quite sure what the title was all about.........but as usual...........A VERY compelling write my friend..........held my interest all the way through my second reading................enigmatic bro!!...............well done..............T xo
Frustration with formatting Tony:)
How are you Tony, I dream you fly into
Bali on 27 October; will you surprise Jai?
We will drink tea under coconut palm and
write poetry for the Ocean, so can I dream this
Dream? One day I fly into Chicago!! Luv from Jai :)
My mother tongue is Spanish, when presented to an English author in Poetry Train Spain it is obvious that I publish the poem in its original language, then I do a simple translation where the poem loses something of rhyme, but the theme is comprised of Hispanic readers. In my case, I first read the poem in its original language, then remove and put to fit much better into Spanish, when translated into English also remove or change words so that the text is understood better. My texts in English, hahahahahahaha, must be read in a surreal way, but the surrealism is part of my personality. A greeting.
A few light touches may be unnoticed by the reader, author the end result makes it happier, but I have to say that your previous version already captured the intention, the feeling and the blue landscape - purple that presides over the composition. A greeting.