Quiet and Shy

I am quiet and shy.
I wonder if life is worth the hurt,
Hurt like being stabbed in the heart and mind.
I hear yelling, screaming, arguing.
Sounding like a crowd at a football game.
I see life crumbling, flipping around.
People crying as if someone just died.
I want my parents.
A life like everyone else’s,
The ability to speak, aloud.
To be wanted.
To stop feeling like someone’s pushed mute on my ability,
To speak how I feel.
I am quiet and shy
 
I pretend that everything is ok,
Life is great. But inside I’m screaming.
As if I’m in a horror movie.
I know that things have gotten better,
But still feeling alone.
As if I’m locked in an escapeless room.
I feel like a blocked volcano burning inside.
I worry that I’m going to lose everyone,
I’m going to be alone.
Again. Like being the last person on earth.
I cry a waterfall when I think about everything that has happened, or will happen.
I am quiet and shy
 
I understand that there are people with bigger problems.
Like the homeless or diseases.
I say if I keep quiet, everything will be ok.
That what they don’t know can’t hurt them.
As if words hurt more than silence.
I dream that I could go back in time like Peabody and Sherman, and change every mistake.
I try not to cry,
The salty rain from my eyes.
I hope life will change,
Like the weather.
I am quiet and shy.