Reaching out

I dont know who to turn to for the help i so desperatly need

Cant do it on my own  for the may times iv tried not once did i succeed 

I want better then this life for myself and my amazing lil boy 

5yrs old n i see the effects on him wanna change it so him to this drug wnt destroy

I remember the first time i smoked  i found.the.escape from problems i couldnt face

I found that escape  n it felt so good it took me to my happy place 

That moment it took ahold of me  so tightly n still till this day it hasnt let go 

 I can see now all the damage this devil drug has done but how to.escape is what i dont no.

Before i had a child it was different becoz i really had nothing to loose

Now speaking out scares me coz so often i hear the storys of children taken from parents coz they use ...

If i was ever to loose malaki i no i wouldnt be able to cope 

I no i wouldnt be able to fight for him coz i would have lost all hope 

But in saying that i feel so guilty coz this amazing child deserves  more then i can provide  

I beg n prey plz someone help me break free  n so my boy can hav the life my ice habbit has denied