Poem -

Right Here

You say you have no time for me,
But it's not how I think.
You have work, a life, soccer and more.
I am just a "friend" so I come second best.
It seems it's always been like that,
Even as your girlfriend.
I wasn't enough, you didn't have time,
That's why I became a b!tch.

I didn't need your necklace.
The chain that is drowning me,
Pulling me to the bottom of the ocean.
And I can't take it off.
It's too heavy for something so small.
I wanted your time.
Your love.

I stayed awake for you when I should have been sleeping,
Just to hear your voice.
I pushed everything aside for you,
Just to see your eyes.
But it wasn't enough.

Every mistake I made you reminded me of my past.
Every fault you saw, I became that suicidal bitch.
I had changed for you and it wasn't enough.
I was changing to be more like her,
Since you love sex so much.

But that isn't who I am.
That isn't me.
But I did it for you,
Just so you could see,
That I am the one who loves you,
Who would do anything to please you.

It wasn't about you being American,
Or being Christian Grey.
It was the emotional connection,
The feelings you gave me.

It wasn't a physical relationship,
What we had was more.
But I guess that's gone now,
I guess there's nothing more.

So go on with your life,
You know I will be right here.
Waiting for you to need me,
Waiting for your tears.

I'm your shoulder to cry on,
Because you know that I care.
And it may tear me apart inside,
But I will always be right here.

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